Before I Was a Mom

I recall discovering I was preganant for the first time-- I confided in tears to my Mom that I was "much too selfish to be a mother!"

And in her wisdom she answered, "Honey, you've just got to know that God loves you SO MUCH, that He's already chosen the perfect baby for you, and that you won't be able to help yourself. You'll LOVE that baby, and you won't want to be selfish."

Had she any idea how life-affirming her words would be, as I stared, through filmy vision, at her warm and knowing eyes? Her belief in God and me, helped ME to believe in God, and, well, me, too.

Five nearly full grown, impossibly wonderful children later (sure, I show the bias of a mother!), I'm a true believer in that affirmation. No one can love our children as much as we do. To others, they're noisy, smelly, hungry, dirty, demanding little creatures, and God only made them cute so we wouldn't kill them. To me, my children ARE my heart. I cry with gratitude at the recurring gift they are to me, each day. I love them so much it seems "crazy-talk" to apply human language to the phenomenon. It's Heavenly.

This treasure showed up in my life recently. It's author isn't known-- not sure why. I'd love to give her credit for this sweet, honest reflection. I hope you enjoy it.

"Before I was a Mom, I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom, I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom, I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night, watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom, I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom, I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom, I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom...I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

May you always be overwhelmed by the Grace of God
rather than by the cares of life."